Archive for the rant Category

Your a retard…. learn the damn language!

Posted in rant on February 28, 2011 by freakychinaman

Hi everyone,

I know I haven’t made a post in centuries and haven’t made a decent one since my first (according to the popularity…), and to be absolutely honest I haven’t thought of anything really inspiring worth a whole post, and I guess I’d much rather quality than quantity (even though I’m a bit loose on that). Don’t get too excited, this isn’t a large post, I just thought I’d clarify something to everyone:

Your = one’s (belonging, possession etc)
you’re = you are

There = that matter, in/at that place/point
Their = the possessive form of they (yea, I totally ripped that from… πŸ˜› )
They’re = they are

This seriously is something that annoys the crap out of me and from the point I see one of these mistakes I can’t think about anything else you have to say. I know a lot of people that come here, especially to comment on the martial arts posts, don’t necessarily have English as their first language, so I don’t usually pay people out about it… but if you can’t even get that right, stop trying to be smart with witty insults and swearing… I get confused when you get me to look for my ‘a retard’….


Advice for using Jay Chou in a movie: DON’T!!!

Posted in current affairs, rant with tags , , , , on February 19, 2010 by freakychinaman

Ok, for those that don’t know who he is, Jay Chou is a very popular pop star from Taiwan. Now don’t get me wrong, his music is great (although due to his signature slurring of the words, I really don’t know a word he’s singing unless I have the lyrics with me……), but this guy pretty much only has one expression and sounds just as bored reciting his lines.

So lately people have decided to get him into the film industry, much like every other Asian star is dragged into doing something they’re not good at. I think his first major appearance was the live action of the popular manga ‘Initial D’. To be honest I liked that movie, however I can’t say that was in any part really attributed to Jay Chou… I mean he played an autistic boy that barely spoke and looked like he was about to fall asleep while he raced… and looking at the random pics above that I got from the first few pages of his google search, you can tell that wasn’t that big a task for him… all I can say is that at least he didn’t ruin the movie.

Jay also produced and directed his own love story with a matching song ‘Secret’… which I must say I really had no interest in whatsoever, those who have seen it please tell me what you think. The next movie I took note of, along with many others I’d assume, will be the role as a prince in ‘Curse of the Golden flower’. This movie I guess wasn’t that good in the first place, all it did was revolve around a lot of incest and a crazed queen… the parts where Jay did much was the last battle where he throws a pole arm around, kills a lot of ninjas, and kills himself… story-wise he was very important, however his part in the actual movie was almost negligible and anyone could play it…. either way, the movie bombed, nobody really gives a crap…

Now the two newest additions to Jay chou’s portfolio would be ‘Treasure hunter’ and ‘True legend’.

‘Treasure hunter’ is pretty much a rip-off of ‘Indiana Jones’ and ‘the Mummy’ put together, and seemingly one of the more anticipated movies in China… well at least they did a lot of advertising for it. So I saw the thing… and seriously it was shit… First of all the entire plot didn”t make sense…

  1. The story revolves around people wanting to find a treasure hidden in an ancient tomb, and the whereabouts of this tomb is only passed down to the “eagle of the desert”. The movie reveals Jay to be to previous one whom gave it up to a friend, however despite this Jay, along with his companions, spend most of the movie looking for the treasure map that leads to the tomb…. huh? They also spend a bit building up on this eagle of the desert… who appears for about 5 minutes occupied with a bit of fighting, a lot of whinging, and a romance between two characters that haven’t been built up enough for anyone to care.
  2. There are roughly… supposedly…. 4 groups of villains in this movie. I hesitate because I really don’t know. The first notable group will be a group that kills the father of the female lead for the treasure map… they were never heard of again after said event and everyone obviously forgot about their existence. The second will be pretty much represented by one person with super-human abilities of controlling bandages wrapped around him as weapons, so the entire battle scene just looked like Jay whipping tissue paper… The third would be these raiders that emerge from a dust storm, whom scared tissue-man away so it’s safe to assume they weren’t together (who, by the way, was never mentioned again). These guys had a random arsenal of weapons such as morning starts, scimitars, maces etc… (which were really poorly made…) and chased our would-be heroes across the desert while a ridiculous amount of explosives were pulled out of nowhere and thrown at them… and after that scene they were once again never to be heard of again … you see a pattern here? The fourth would be some random ghosts that appear in the tomb… you never find out who they are, why they were there, and they have the lamest scene of the girl getting possessed by the ghosts and Jay has to fight her…..
  3. There is a guy that barely participates in the movie, playing sort of the ‘mystery guy’ in the movie that seems to know a lot of secrets. The twist was that he has been to the tomb before with friends, however was attack by the “raiders” at some unknown point and they ended up running for their lives, and the mystery man survived by eating his friends’ flesh… so here we have another person that knew where the tomb was that spent the movie looking for the map. This guy has been in the tomb, knew about all the traps and how the burial chamber looked like… yet it also seemed like he’s never seen it before despite actually having successfully raided the place… and what does he do after fighting his way to this glorious end? He decides to get himself killed… that thing he could’ve done while being chased by raiders and walking through the three traps in the tomb….

Secondly the special effects and CGI were poorly done, I usually won’t pick on these things in a Chinese production but since this is a rather big movie you’d think they’d put more effort into it. Finally, the biggest problem of them all: they had Jay Chou as the male lead… and he played his usual self… now just imagine ‘The mummy’ or ‘Indiana Jones’ and neither Brendan Fraser nor Harrison Ford had any expression and didn’t even TRY to be funny…………………………………………… yea… really, don’t watch this movie!!!

Now we get to ‘True legend’, which only got to cinemas in China last week. It’s another pretty big production with high expectations, with the director/martial arts choreographer of movies like ‘Fearless’ (Jet Li) and ‘Drunken fist’ (reeeaaaallllyyyy old Jackie Chan movies), and some partial 3D fight scenes (which really wasn’t an asset… in fact it got in the way of my enjoying the movie by making me wear the damn glasses). Jay Chou only really plays a cameo appearance (and yet he takes up the biggest spot in the posters…). I went into the cinema with the hope that he won’t be in much of the movie as they did say he only has a special appearance, and although he did end up being in a fair bit of the first half of the movie, at least he didn’t say much….. the thing is though he plays the ‘God of Kung fu’, I won’t spoil anything else, but as the name implies he needs to fight a lot in this, however Jay Chou really isn’t a good fighter, so you end up with really easy to handle moves along with a lot of special effects fighting (like dragonball Z style). I won’t go as far as to say he ruined those bits for me, though I think it’d be a lot better that someone else played his part. If you want a short review on the movie, the basic layout of the movie is separated into two chapter which I can tell you is unnecessary and if fact was what ruined the movie. The first half is very typical Chinese fantasy with people that can leap across cliffs and crush boulders with their bare hands, and the main villain is a guy with metal plates sewn to his skin (which really isn’t practical at all if you think about it… in fact it’ll just make it easier to tear your skin off…) and has toxic hands. this half of the movie was very cool despite the pointless 3D graphics… the only problem was that it didn’t really stay on topic. The Chinese name of the movies is “θ˜‡δΉžε…’”, and in fact the alternate name they gave to the movie was ‘the true legend of beggar Su’; the other emphasis of the movie was the drunken fist fighting… and both the agonist doing drunken fist or begging were not present in this first half… So I think the director and producers realised this, but didn’t want to remake the entire movie, so they decided to make a second half to what would’ve already been a finished story. This second half starts Su (which I think you would’ve guessed by that title to be the main agonist) being drunk and on the streets… so that got it right this time; however instead of being set in the ancient fantasy world with flying people and deadly flying hula hoops, we have gone back to normal people with a backdrop much like fearless… in fact the final battle was a lame fight between Su doing break-dancing and 6 wrestler led by David Carradine (yes, I was surprized he was in it too, especially with the notable handicap of being dead)…. my word of advice…. watch the first half of the movie, then leave!

People that should be blended in a garbage disposal

Posted in current affairs, random, rant with tags , , , , , on March 8, 2009 by freakychinaman


Here is a list of the type of people that should be brutally shoved down a garbage disposal and join the great river of waste in our sewers:

  1. That guy at school that thinks he knows more than you do at everything because he’s a year or two your senior, and at uni, these are the social science retards that try to give you medical advice.
  2. Ugly girls that think they’re hot:
    everyone’s met a few of these in their lifetime, these are those ugly both inside and out and still try to frame you for secretly having a crush on them. The only reason you will hang around these people will be because these people often attract pretty girls that have low self esteem, whom which need said ugly girls to make them feel better.
  3. Ugly girls
  4. Ugly people in general
  5. People that like Twilight:
    This also includes people that like any other vampire type romances such as… well Vamps and goths. There is nothing sexy about someone forcing their canines into your carotid… it’s a little bit more than a hickey but that doesn’t make it more delightful.
  6. Pauline Hanson:
    … need I explain that to you too?
  7. The audience on the funniest home videos show that laugh at everything.
  8. The administrative staff at the University of Queensland:
    The most incompetent people that I rely on (I don’t rely on the social sciences people).
  9. People that think it’s alright to be racist to any race as long as they’re not white:
    This does not apply to people that make fun of their own races.
  10. Telemarketers.

And if you don’t agree with me you also belong to this list, and you know what you must do.


And God sent his most able agent to earth to cleanse man of self-worth: the Balder!


Camera angle fighting

Posted in martial arts, rant with tags , , , on October 9, 2008 by freakychinaman

Ok, I just watched the bourne supremacy and I almost got motion sickness. Not just because of the constant car chases, and going in and out of buildings; but the stupid camera angle fighting.

Camera angle fighting is when there’s a fight scene of some sort and the screen keeps swapping to a bunch of cameras that seem to be held by people with Parkinson’s!

Ok, this is how fights use to be like on the big screen:

This is how it is now:

Seeing that the acting in most of these films aren’t important nor any good anyway, might as well get some that can fight, at least that’s easier to find. (seriously, Jacky Chan can’t act… and fuck, Hollywood killed him too… But I’ll talk about that later)

don’t sympathize to socialize

Posted in personal, random, rant on October 5, 2008 by freakychinaman

[this has nothing to do with the post, but it seemed a bit dull without a picture………. and by the way this is from ‘the perry bible fellowship’, freakin’ awesome comic strips. Have the link on the side panel]

People don’t, and never will, consider me as a sympathetic person (which is why I sucked at my behavioural studies courses since they wanted me to feel sorry for everyone…), my defense is that in almost all cases where someone’s not happy, I either a) can’t do anything about it; b) they just want attention; c) I just don’t care about that person.

The father of a friend of mine passed away recently and I struggled for a while thinking of something I can say and do for her… but I couldn’t. I mean… saying things like “cheer up” “don’t be sad” is seriously what I think you say when you want to break an awkward silence and not want to sound like you don’t care. In the end, has anyone told you to cheer up and you suddenly do? (unless you were unhappy about that person not talking to you) Anything religious is a bit hypocritical for me (it’s also very lame). Anything else that’s at all constructive I believe you should say in person, trust me saying “I’ll always be there for you, XXOO” on facebook is a bit pathetic (not to mention you sound like a total dick + the nice happy DP on the side….).

Then there are the attention seekers… Im pretty sure I ranted about these before but I’ll do it again. These are the people that are always telling you how crap their life is (eg telling you they got a really bad mark and you know they’re just waiting for you to say “that’s not too bad, I got a shitty mark too”); as well as those people that explain to you the motive behind everything they do as if it’s all for the greater good….. I hate these people, how I see it, truly smart and nice people don’t go around telling people about it, and if you really feel unhappy, you won’t have the mood to put it on your MSN name.

About the people I don’t care about….. well… what more can be said? I just don’t care! I may know you, I might like you as a person, and I might even be related to you, But if I don’t care it’s not like you can convince me. To care for someone is a type of love (at least you need a form of it): so you just do; you can’t tell me why I have to and why I shouldn’t.

If something bad happens to someone and you can’t change it, they’re bound to be sad; and telling them not to be is… well….. denying their humanity. The only thing you can really do is make them comfortable until they can get over it… or helping them take revenge depending on the cause of the problem.


Kids, stop trying to balance on those wooden posts……

(*warning: image below may disturb some pansies and kids not convince of what I just said*)









People are stupid…

Posted in current affairs, random, rant on September 6, 2008 by freakychinaman

OK, just watched the news earlier on and I just have to get this out of me. What is it with people and glorifying people as if they’re heroes purely because they didn’t die? (…. and sometimes only because they died?)

A few days ago it was about a few mountain climbers, and on the news it was as if they were the one’s that saved someone… I mean… I can’t see how a climber needing to be rescued being a glorious victory. And one maybe more memorable (if you’re Australian) being the Beaconsfield mining accident. After the whole ordeal, reporters and journalists were paying these guys tons of money for exclusive stories and they were kept on the news for god knows how many weeks, and for what? they just sat in a hole for 2 weeks and not die! they didn’t dig their way out, they didn’t even have to find their own food! Heck, I’ve been doing that for more than 2 decades already.

And this even goes for ex-cancer patients and people with some sort of amputation…. “wow, you had cancer and you didn’t die? you’re amazing!”…. no, our current medical technologies are amazing… Then you get those people that go “after that I have a new found meaning to life! I’m going to love my family more and make the most of my life and do the things I want!” on breast cancer fund water bottles having ‘Amanda 49, breast cancer survivor’ as if it’s some kind of profession… so good for you, but when the media makes these people sound like saints and philosophers, that’s when I get annoyed. People don’t need to have been near death to appreciate life. If you have any sort of value on your life, you will love your family and friends just as much and walk the same paths; people that need to see their lives flash before their eyes first are just slow and simply don’t think about their own lives enough.

[and the whole “live everyday as if it’s your last” thing… doesn’t work: if you do live everyday as if it’s your last, it probably will be; and if everyone did it the world would be in chaos]

And another thing that bugs me is people like mountain climbers, surfers that go to the beaches during a hurricane, and all those other extreme sports players are simply people that are just asking for it! It’s a wasted of resources to save them in the first place! What we should be doing is forget about the people risking their lives, and more importantly the lives of others, with absolutely no purpose; and commemorate those that risked their lives saving the asses of these dickheads.

Then there are the people that become heroes because they died… not because they died trying to save a baby from a rampaging blue fin tuna or taking out a nuclear bomb…. just because…. they died… it’s like “he was fighting in a war…. then he died… WHAT A TWIST!” Think about the dead soldiers from Iraq. Don’t get me wrong, I respect the soldiers (not so much the war, I can’t believe Australia joined and our oil prices are still high as ever….), but I think having reports that go on for days that are like “he died because he shot himself while cleaning a gun” then have his whole family history laid out to be more of an insult then not talking about him at all…


wow… a form that actually makes you more sensible…

Women’s self-defense: why women are getting raped and assaulted more often

Posted in martial arts, rant with tags , , , on April 20, 2008 by freakychinaman

“women’s” martial arts has always been that itch I just can’t scratch without being called sexist, even though I never think that I’m in any way being unreasonable or biased against women. I know a few women out there that I’m sure would be able to kick my ass pretty easily… but then again, there’s only one way to find out…

My biggest problem would have to be: “why women’s martial arts?”, what is the difference compared to our normal martial arts?. Unless you’re telling me you plan to throw hooks at people with your breasts or insert a dagger in your vagina; the last time I checked women still have 2 arms, 2 legs, 20 phalanges, and a head. How I see it, women’s martial arts is just another money making scheme for girls to keep fit, look cool, feed their ego, and at the same time not break a sweat. The only real excuse I can find to support the term is scenario based focusing such as sexual assault, someone stealing your purse… yea, that’s about it, I tried…

When I evaluate a martial art/skill (basically everything), I just think about what works realistically [i.e. are my reflexes really that good? will that guy just stand there while I jump around him? can I really tap a guy in a pressure point with my pinky while he’s elbowing my face?]. And when I think about the division of the sexes in something like martial arts (and anything competitive really..): “I’m pretty good for a girl” just doesn’t cut it. People always say that girls do push ups on their knees because of mechanical disadvantages with a less broad shoulder width, and that this way is ‘equivalent’ to the normal on-your-toes ones. keyword here is “equivalence” (here go the double standards again…); I just don’t get the logic behind this: since you’re already at a biological disadvantage with body portions and muscle development, shouldn’t it be that you work twice as hard rather than half of what the guys do?

now back to women’s ‘self defense’, which is the more bullshit stuff marketed all over the world. These classes usually educate you in the art of somebody grabbing you by the wrist then you twirl around like a fairy till he lets go, while totally ignoring he also has 3 other limbs; the classes also educate you 175 techniques of how to kick someone in the balls. And what qualifications do you need to teach such a class? here’s one I got off an apparently highly regarded women’s martial arts organization:

to break it down:

  • I need to have joined a martial art/ self defense group for 3 years, but only needing to train for 20 days
  • know how to do an upper, middle, and lower block; be able to break-fall
  • babysit your students and shower them with love and care
  • been ‘violently victimized’
  • make class as friendly as possible, reassuring your students that your would be attackers will be just as polite
  • be happy to lower your standards if your students find it too hard
  • paid the organization for a year
  • conform to a load of feminist bullshit (i.e. it is never a women’s fault)

[here’s some other shit to look at while you’re at it: Oh My Fucking Goddess Martial Arts…]

A lot of these ‘self defense’ ideas are not just unrealistic and ineffective, but it can also be dangerous. For example this guy wants your wallet, edging a knife at your throat: normally you would just give him the wallet (at least I would…), but no, you’ve mastered the way of knocking his hand away and giving a punch to the solar plexus… then you realize arms don’t just go limp once you touch them and you don’t successfully defeat an attacker by landing 1 punch that has shit all power to it. So now you’ve successfully pissed the guy off and you get stabbed, have your arms and legs broken, and your nose is pointing in the wrong direction, and your wallet’s still taken. congratulations.

All you women out there wanting to learn how to protect yourselves: learn a real martial art, not the 2 month program shit. Understand that males have a biological advantage in physical activities, accept it, but don’t be discouraged by it: aim to be a good fighter, not just a good female fighter (but try not to use drugs). If you aren’t prepared to put some effort into it: get either a tazer, pepper spray, baseball bat, with a pair of scissors; and if you want to learn how to REALLY defend yourself, learn to sprint, and try to use common sense more like ‘don’t walk through dark alley ways alone at night in a miniskirt’ and calling people “girl bashers” will not always stop someone from bashing you.

[Feminists are the ones responsible for making men look down on women: genocide all feminists to restore world order!]


random crap of the day: How many 5 year olds could you take in a fight?

hm…. I’m pretty sure I can do better than that… well……..only one way to find out!