Facebook: the greatest gift to man or the shortcut to oblivion?

Poking, inviting, becoming fans, quizzes after quizzes, application upon application…. facebook has brought procrastination and socializing together into a wondrous little package.

I’ve been on this thing for a while now, mainly due to the overwhelming number of invites flooding my junkmail… now after around 2 years on it, what have I found?


  • Makes it easier to track down that girl you met once at the club… so long as you remember her face and she put it on her profile…
  • Easily quantify the number of friends you have.
  • Simple to invite said friends to parties and events by just ticking them off the list without really needing to think of them; they also have no excuse for not getting a notice
  • Quizzes allow you to know more about yourself: the more you do the less enthusiastic you are of your work and the more time you are trying to waste
  • Posting photos of absolutely everything lets you convince people that you have a social life…
  • Games applications allow endless fun at uni and other public computers you can play anything on
  • Know when people have birthdays, get into relationships, get married, divorced, make-up, stop being friends; all without actually needing to endure 5 hours of painful moaning/giggling/showing off/ bitching… marvelous~
  • Increase stalking potential by 500%
  • Superpoking makes sexual harassment acceptable
  • By wasting a bit of time every 6 hours, you can buy a person you know and make them do shit… and it’s legal this time!
  • You find long lost childhood friends and find out previously unknown mutual friends and relations


  • You realize that ugly blob from last night found you and is spamming you with invites
  • You realize there are less than 100 people in your friends list and you know none of them
  • Random people keep inviting you to events in another country
  • Chain quizzes keep traveling back to you… over and over and over and over…
  • An overflow of applications that tell you when you die and what your favourite sex position is, with their respective notifications that somehow make it to your email…
  • People not taking the relationship status seriously, making it really hard to make a move
  • People manage to annoy you without even needing to be on the same continent, and you can’t block them because that’s just plain mean!!!!
  • Random guys keep spanking you and chest bumping you…
  • Random people buy you and make you into a notice board
  • Someone tries to add you, and you don’t know if it’s someone you just don’t remember or a pedophile….

So in the end really, whether facebook is the greatest invention know to man or the cause of all your mental problems…… ultimately just depends on whether you’re the one looking for that special someone from last night…. the the ugly blob….


Quick! Before they have a closing down sale!



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