Read this then send the link to 20 of your friends

Everyone who has access to internet and has some sort of emailing service has received at least a few dozen chain-mails in their life up to date (even if you have no friends whatsoever they still manage to hunt you down). It’s those emails that you never really know who made them in the first place, but one thing is for sure: it’s made to annoy you, insult you, degrade you, and ultimately make you kill yourself realizing you just spent 10 minutes scrolling down a page full of forwarded messages and emails just to see “send this to another 50 innocent souls that you don’t speak to for no reason”.
Here are the top 3 types of chain-mails that are corrupting innocent young minds these days:


1. The “what are you doing now” mails:

These are the ones that have about 100 questions that ask you everything from “what is your name?” to “R you slutty?”, then finally making you copying the whole thing (probably after 30 minutes doing it), pasting it back on the original message then sending it to everyone else and also the dick that sent it to you. I really can’t think much of these ones really, just that it’s a complete waste of a LOT of time and you’re not even hoping to get anything out of it. You might as well do a psych survey, at least you get paid for doing those ones. Here’s a sample I got a while back:

4.What does your name mean? i dunno but i’ll bet i means sumfin special..
5.Who picked out your name? ME!!!!

29.Favourite colours? Teal and aquatic marine bluey green (WTF? how many colours is that?)
30.Favourite Animal? MONKEYS i luuuuuv monkeys der so dangly (… another monkey fetish… why lord why?!)
100.Ever had a crush on a teacher? ummm… maybe nah i love him in a teacher student way lol…. I LUV HIM!!!!!!
101.Are you too shy to ask someone out? haha well no ummm not really depends who it is

[please note #5, that on a closer inspection you’d realize that this person actually stole the template and typed the thing up without anyone sending it to her… twice as sad…]

2. The “you’re making a difference” mails:

These are the ones that go like “I have a dying baby, and if enough people pass on this email I’ll be granted to money to save her”. These ones play on the sympathy vote but makes no sense whatsoever. So this charity is making you send a chain-mail around the world, and each time it’s forwarded they give you a dollar? Unless hotmail is actually charging us each time we send an email, this doesn’t work. Fund raisers work by the people actually paying, not just calling in and saying hi… retards.

[regrettably I don’t have a sample of this since I replied the last one with “she’s probably dead by now if she was waiting in the ICU 3 years ago” then deleting it.]

3. The “you’ll be happy if you forward this; have your balls rot off if you don’t” mails:

These are the ones I despise the most, I personally have nothing against sending some good wishes to some friends, I mean what is life without hope? But is it really necessary to add in the “you will never be happy ever, ever again if you don’t send this to 20 people in the next 60 seconds”? After I receive these emails I immediately lose all respect for whoever sent it to me, since apparently their minuscule hope of getting laid that night due to an email is more important than my eternal happiness… thanks…

The “Hot Sex Fairy” will visit you within four
days of receiving this message, provided you, in turn, send it on.
If you don’t, then you will never receive good sex again for the rest of your life.
You will eventually become celibate, and your genitals will rot and fall off.”

[well I didn’t forward this and my genitals appear to still be very well intact and functional]

To all those that have forwarded an annoying chain-mail to a friend (especially the last type), I hereby place a curse on you: in 2 weeks time your computer will explode in your face, burning your eyes into their sockets. Your skin will then gradually shrink until your bones stick out and your skin will peel off like wood shavings while your nerves explode; your genitals will snap, crackle and pop, giving you unimaginable pain that will make 2 seconds last an eternity. Passing this message on will not redeem your life of sins, the only way to prevent this horrible fate is to use copper wires to stitch and weld “I am a brainless cunt” 7 times on the surface of your face within the next hour.

[world’s most famous chain-mailer]


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